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You don’t see the person as a whole…you see the perfect wedding night/pure marriage you’ll never be able to have if you stay with them. How they treat you, who they are, and how much you enjoy them should be hugely important factors. Some of those other qualities can be even more rare than virginity. But given that the rest of the world is full of one night stands, casual sex, and “hook up culture”, maybe the fact that your girlfriend/boyfriend has only had sex with one other person in the context of a long term relationship (or whatever) isn’t so bad.. Appreciate that in the grand scheme of things, your girlfriend/boyfriend may be much closer to your sincere, genuine idea of sexuality than he/she is to those “other” people’s warped and soulless view of sex.
Maybe they had sex before with one person but only a couple of times.
Sometimes the more you want a person, the more their sexual past bothers you.
They are all 50-something, empty-nesters and divorced. The difference between men and women at this age, however, is that we don’t necessarily want the same things.
The persistent belief is that women are looking for long-term committed relationship and men are looking for short-term sexual relationships.
That may be true for younger people, but that isn’t always the case at this age, she says.
If you let all of your hurt, anger, and sense of injustice build up inside of you, you’re going to take it out on them whether you intend to or not. You’ll get irritable and won’t tell them what’s wrong.
And maybe one day you’ll snap and call them a whore or accuse them of not taking sex seriously, etc.