Married couples dating others

We then broadened the study by surveying and then running focus groups of single men who at that time had no intention of getting married.At first, we had young single men do the interviews, but so many of the interviewees gave macho answers that we doubted their reliability.Finally, we had men in their sixties ask the questions, and that solved the problem.The responses they elicited were generally straightforward.As a reward for her insight, I put her in charge of the project.My researchers approached this project the same way we had others.When Beth, one of my better researchers, said that men who were averse to commitment were drawn to her like bees to honey, I gave her a copy of the summary report of my research on “why men marry.” The report showed that the primary reason a man asks one woman to marry and not another is that each woman treats him differently.

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With this in mind, I reviewed our interviews with men and women who were planning to marry and videos of two focus groups we had run with single men.

Such couples, however, represent a very small percentage of today’s singles.

When we conducted a focus group with 12 men who had just proposed to women, we learned that men were far more likely to marry when they got tired of the singles scene.

For example, when a man goes to law school, which takes three additional years, he usually starts considering marriage around age 27 or 28.

That’s also the age when most doctors, who spend four years in medical school and at least one year as an intern, start seriously thinking about marriage.

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