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By remaining at home with their parents, many Chinese women devolve a certain amount of decision-making power to their parents — primarily their fathers — who then hold stronger authority over their life choices than would be considered normal in the West.
For Chinese women, the pursuit of equality must therefore go beyond cultivating financial security and challenge the social dynamics of the family unit.
Hierarchal Confucianism and a sense of pragmatism are still deeply entrenched in Chinese society, hampering progress in the fight for women’s rights.
A traditional belief in pragmatism also hinders women’s pursuit of independence.
For example, a popular survey on Chinese news website Net Ease lists 20 symptoms of straight man cancer that include “asking women to be beautiful although men are ugly,” “considering oneself the boss and one’s wife as a free nanny,” and “thinking that women lose value once they hit 30 years old.” At the bottom of the page, it says, “If people around you have these symptoms, you have to tell them to keep taking their medicine and to stop hurting women.” The post invites people to judge others, but then simply uses a metaphor to belittle supposedly culpable men without providing tangible solutions to the issue.
Unlike most young Americans, who leave their parents’ homes in search of their own lives once they reach adulthood, young Chinese often choose to stay at home well into their 20s and 30s in order to establish themselves financially.
This mindset applies to both men and women but tends to come with greater sacrifices for the latter group.
Straight men fret that if they get too close, others will see them as gay; which in their minds means feminine (horrors! Perhaps even scarier is that their emotional connections will somehow morph into sexual attraction. S., before there was such a thing as a gay identity, some straight men would, with little shame, engage in sexual contact with other men (usually allowing themselves to be fellated) when female partners were otherwise unavailable (see George Chauncey’s seminal book, which was new at the time and seen as criminal and then sick.
As a result of this behavior-identity link, sexual congress between gay and straight men decreased considerably or at least went underground.